Hopefully,

This week was full of ups and downs, i'm so confused right now. School was school, activities after school and stuff. Didn't study as much as i wanted to cause i am such a distraction to others and myself. Had a little more conflict earlier this week, took note of the 4th and last point.
People make fun of it, people find it weird, but it means alot to me, and i'm not deleting it till i get it all done.

Met LFE with guoan to study today, but something unexpected happened to her. But i would say it is a good thing. The letter written to her, was so sincere it made her cry infront of me. All the past was a mistake, learn to forget and move on. The future might just prove to be brighter, its true that it takes two hands to clap, so you're not a bitch alright, its just that she failed to appreciate. So now that she does, just treasure the relationship with her, it doesn't matter what others think. Its your relationship with her, others can make comments, but the comments don't matter. Be strong, let her know how you really feel, its what she really need to know right now. i'm not trying to drag any other similar incidents into this, but its just so similar to mine. When i read the letter, I just understood how your friend felt.. I almost cried infront of you thinking of my own "story". I just broke down when you left, i never cried since a month ago, even being such an emotional person, i swear the fucking regret, it was everything i wanted to say to her. Thank you so much guoan for being there. I LOVE YOU BESTIEZXZ

Treasure that friend LFE, i'm glad you're gonna do that. Why must everything i encounter be so similar to my "story"? Its good to be able to give a little help advice to those encountering others with the same kind of problem, but i feel like a failure, not being able to salvage my own problems.

"Don't judge a book by its cover", try opening it and read the inside, and you'll know the real story. Glad you understood your friend.. Glad i was able to give you and idea on how she is feeling.. Glad you are still willing to be like you two were.

With twin, with LFE, with my parents, everything is so similar, it seems like i went through more than we realised with you. You mean the most to me, you are the one that matters the most to me, i'm sorry i never appreciated you. I will never blame you for the way things are right now, neither am i expecting you to forgive me for the things i've done. I'm just want to let you know that i am truely sorry for the way i have treated you, you don't have to believe i am trying hard to change to be your perfect man and i wish that we can still be friends.
I wish you could read me like a book, theres so many things i just want you to know.

p.s: Jz you're a fucking jerk to treat twin like that and i dare say it out, cause i won't let you treat twin this way anymore. Shes human too, she deserves just as much as you do. She apologising for things your fucking sarcastic remarks, when she was hurt more than ever by them. Shes so nice to you, trying to save your reputation, shes the girl you're the guy. So try to be like one. I kinda understand how you think, I tried to make you understand, but it only made you worse. It was a mistake trying to change you. Maybe someday you'll learn whats 'regret' too, then you'll see how it feels like when theres no one to turn to. You said sarcasticlly i might beat you up, you like to win, i'll show you. I know i can't beat you, but it just sastifies me to know that you get to know whats pain, then you'll start appreciating. Appreciating those around you who care, those who protect you. You'll see.

Edit:
Fyi all, about the p.s above, twin didn't ask me to let others know how i felt. She didn't ask me to type it out. Shes begging me to dlt it right now. Shes giving me all the reasons to dlt it. but i won't, sorry twin. Look at whats shes trying to do for you. What have you done to deserve this? Hurt her ytd night?

I'm not an online geek who just types behind the comp. I'll be glad to share tmr if i have the time. Cya tmr :D Hope we can clear any misunderstandings? (: and after that you might just treat twin a little nicer. And you or your friends can hate me i don't care.

Edit 9.47am 13 sept 08:
Twin said you have the rights to treat her this way. Using the wording fucking jerk wasn't very nice too. True, i apologise for that, but talking to twin, you know how much it hurts her for you to act this way? Just because she can't let go like you did, oh so easily?

Anyway twin if you're reading this. I didn't mean any harm with this little meeting. Idk who am i to change him. But i hope he'll see how much you care for him and treat you like a FRIEND at least. As an outsider i have no rights to comment about you two. But as your friend, i wouldn't want to see you feeling so down everyday just because of his actions. I have many things to tell him but idk how to phrase them, maybe they'll come out better in rl. Don't worry twin, i've learnt my lesson long ago, i won't do anything on impulse, i promise i won't. Thank you for making me believe, but i choose not to put too much hope in it. Lastly, I'm very sorry for this little conflict caused by me, lest you worry. I also wish that today will end up as a better day for all of us. I'll try my best not to screw up this chance, to make things right. No matter whats the outcome of today, i wish you won't ever feel down for days because of his acts no more, be it he change or you get over him. Its not easy, but no one feels good to see you this way, it'll be better if we all see you put on a smile everyday, to see you happy everyday.

And to jz, you seemed like a real nice guy, i don't wanna ruin your image by using the wrong words on you. Why tell twin you love her, when you went for another girl after you said that. Everything would be easier for us to express in real life. Don't misunderstand this little meeting, our little sarcastic chat might have gave you the wrong idea, we're just meeting to talk, to try and make things right. I can't guarantee what would happen next, but i sure hope maybe you'll just realise how much you affect her. See you later.